Island Characters

Residents of the island ranged from hard working elder watermen, their children who were learning the trade, elderly ladies who were home makers and moonlighted picking crabs, and shall we say “colorful characters.” One such colorful family leaved across the street form us. Thankfully Pokes Rd. and some trees separated our homes. Colorful is my attempt at being descriptive and politically correct. The elder of the clan was “Old Man.” Really, I can’t remember his name, as we always called him that. I did ask my mom one time if she knew what Old Man’s name was. She replied, “Yes, I know his name. Old Man.” He was married to Lucy and they had three sons. The added twist was the guest living in the outside shed, Lucy’s boyfriend Harry. I promise I am not making any of this up. We had very few TV channels on the island, but who needed TV with all this live entertainment.

Let’s delve a little more into Old Man stories, as he provided so much food for gossip on the island. There are a few that I remember quite clearly. Both Old Man and Lucy had an affinity for alcohol.  They seemed to love each other and also love to fight, especially when under the influence, which was much of the time. I remember mom going over to help take care of Old Man’s burns on his back because Lucy had gotten mad at him and decided to pour scalding hot water (or maybe it was soup) down his back. A little extreme and abusive, but that was Lucy. She was actually really fun to be around until she got too drunk.

Now Old Man was quite a character in his own right. He had this hobby of liking to watch the marsh burn. A controlled burn set by the state you may be thinking? Oh no, that would be him lighting the marsh on fire to start a ruckus. A ruckus he definitely would start. I can remember getting in the car and riding with someone to go and watch what he had done. Luckily we did have a volunteer Fire Department on the island to control the fires. Usually Old Man was pretty good about not setting the fires too close to houses, trees, etc. He was a drunk, and mean, but he seemed to have some intelligence. The same cannot be said for Gorman.

Gorman was another character that played the lead role in many of the colorful stories from the island days. Gorman lived in a very tiny house (one or two rooms) with many members of his family. I can’t remember how many people, but it was way more than it seemed possible to fit. We didn’t see them except for Gorman, but you could see all the clothes hanging on the line. There was at least Gorman’s mother, sister and his brother who was an adult but was in diapers. I never saw him, just the clean diapers on the clothesline. Now back to Gorman. I mentioned Old Man liking to set fires but having some intelligence. Gorman also liked to set fires, but lacked any amount of common sense. He rode around in his car all day. What else he did I am have no idea, other than setting things on fire. He too liked the ruckus it caused. But unfortunately Gorman often didn’t consider the wind, nearby trees, houses, etc. There were a few close calls, but I don’t believe there was ever any major damage. It was also a spectator sport to figure out who had set the fire. Was it a Gorman or an Old Man job? It was usually pretty obvious. Both were often in the crowd of people watching the show. Not much else to do on the island other than watch things burn, shoot things, catch things and gossip about the former mentioned topics.

This brings to mind an all time favorite Gorman story on one dark stormy Halloween night. David and some other boys from the island decided to go get into some mischief. David had this very large stuffed gorilla that he liked to use to scare people. This I remember quite vividly. He would come into my room while I was sleeping and put the gorilla in front of me (or wear a scary mask). His plan always worked perfectly and I awoke screaming, practically stuck to the ceiling. Watching me react was always one of David’s favorite past times. 

Mischief was the goal that Halloween night, and it did not disappoint. Apparently they went to Freddie’s and put the Gorilla in the window and scared his son Kenny half to death. Then they went to Gorman’s street. He was out riding around because, of course, that is what Gorman did. They put the Gorilla in the road as Gorman drove upon it. What do you think he did? He ran over it. That is exactly what you do on the island; if anything is in the road you hit it. Then they decided to go scare Mr. Fischer. Mr. Fischer was quite a character. He was an elderly man living in a small trailer across from Gorman’s. He always wore overalls and a straw hat. He loved to sit in Ms. Nora’s Store and tell stories. 

The Gorilla was positioned outside of Mr. Fischer’s to scare him. What do you think his response was? He shot it. If you can’t run it over you shoot it, another natural response on the island. How do I know all this? Well, the boys were so excited about their adventures, that they ran home and told us all about it. They also had to show off the Gorilla’s injuries from Gorman’s car and from Mr. Fischer’s gun. The best part of the story is what Mr. Fischer told at Ms. Nora’s store the next day. Apparently something was outside his window the night before, “A gorilla or a &%$# or something” and he shot it. What comes immediately to my mind is the unlikely scenario that either a gorilla or an African American (I refuse to use the derogatory slang I grew up surrounded by) would be on Elliott’s Island on Halloween night outside of Mr. Fisher’s window. But, one has to remember, logic was never really considered there on the island. No one questioned Mr. Fisher’s story and the boys got away with yet another adventure.

Another all time favorite story, a classic, was that of Harry and Lucy. Harry was married and had children, a job, a house, etc. He also had quite the alcohol addiction. Unfortunately his addiction overtook him and somehow he ended up meeting Lucy, leaving his family and moving to the island. Now wait a minute, wasn’t Lucy married to Old Man? Yes. Again, I don’t know the details, but somehow Lucy convinced him to let Harry live outside. Harry lived in the shed or garage, I don’t remember really. Occasionally there would be some ruckus and he would be wandering aimlessly on the island for a few days before moving back to the shed. Harry's mode of transportation on the island was quite creative. I have vivid memories of him riding around the island roads on a lawn mower with a trailer towing all of his belongings. It was quite the scene really. My friend John and I used to talk to Harry a lot. No clear memories of this other than he seemed nice, broken, but nice.

The infamous Harry and Lucy story lives in my mind like it was yesterday. Amidst the holes that occur as you age, the essence of the story remains. My best friend John and I were likely getting together to play. Old Man's lane was before Pokes Rd., where I lived. Apparently Harry was walking down the lane hunched over. John went up to him to see what was wrong. When John got close he could see that Harry was bleeding from a stab wound (inflicted by Lucy clearly when her drunk anger got the best of her). The details are fuzzy about if John came and got me and then how and when the ambulance and police were called. But somehow it all unfolded. Harry was taken to the hospital. Luckily Lucy Ms.ed all the important organs and Harry was okay. Just stitches (and likely a bath) and he was as good as new. Lucy was arrested and then released because Harry refused to press charges. Mom and I heard on the radio, amidst lots of chuckles from the announcers, details about the police report. Apparently Lucy denied stabbing Harry. She said she just put the knife up to his big fat belly and it slid on in. After Harry recovered in the hospital he returned to Lucy’s shed and the lawnmower. It was back to business as usual on the island, but with another juicy story.

There was never a dull moment on the island. And if their were moments when someone wasn’t getting stabbed, gorillas weren't getting shot and the marsh wasn’t burning, then it was just my magic fairy land to explore and lots of porches and steps to take a rest on and eat watermelon or a piece of fried chicken.